Whipped By a Piece of Pie

We rarely simply travel to anywhere. Depending on the territory, it’s an epic adventure most often not even known to locals. So our recent trip to the Florida Keys had two conditions, or missions. Depending on your idea of fun.

My husband, Tony, is a foodie and an athlete. Not a bad combination given the health benefits to both. He is a wind-up toy who only stops when he sits or lays quietly for five minutes or more. Then he is comatose. So his idea of fun/ambition for our vacation was to find the most perfect Key Lime Pie in the Keys, and to ride as much of the 106 mile Florida Hwy 1 as we could, while in pursuit of said pie.

These adventures always sound good at the beginning, and being the optimist and extrovert of us two, I’m all in. But my optimism starts to wane as the intricacies of his ambition take hold and presents itself with his undeniable tenacity.

In total, we ate 10 slices of pie over the course of six days and rode a collective 100 miles or so.

Jimmy Buffett provided much of the inspiration, particularly in the upper and mid Keys. Caribbean blue green water on either side of a two-lane road and a great cross breeze is an irresistible mood transmitter for two Atlantans in search of mental transport.  We were easily lured into island life by Key Largo. My tension headache was gone by the time we pulled off at the Blonde Giraffe in Islamorada, our first Key Lime Pie destination. It’s an award winner and did not disappoint. The meringue was fluffy and perfect, crust was graham cracker thin and crunchy and the pie was tart, if not a bit sweet. Overall it was the solid slice of all we had hoped for. A good first stop. Plus, who can resist such an adorable name like the Blonde Giraffe!

Marathon presented us with a couple of pie options, and our first real riding area. I wasn’t sure if I liked the idea of Porky’s serving fried Key Lime Pie, but honestly, it was awesome. “Like a donut, icebox pie,” the flavor and texture competed with our other one-offs – chocolate dipped Key Lime Pie at Castaways in Marathon (waaaayyyy tooo sweet) and Kermit’s, in Key West.

Marathon is the ideal stop in the Keys. It’s laid back, wild and free, but not too commercialized. Our morning bike ride was hot as Hades but so worth it. Marathon gets our vote for where you want to stay in the Keys. Particularly the Marriott. The pool there is to die for.

But on a tour one has to see it all and Key West had to be seen. And tasted. So on we went. The farther south and west you travel in the Keys, the more haggard things seem to get. Then, boom. You hit Key West and it seems to be the Manhattan of the Keys, mixed with a large helping of Vegas and maybe Pigeon Forge. The saving grace is the beautiful water when you can see it, but overall, it’s a sad hunk of commercialism on a once inspirational piece of rock that brought us so much talent and inspiration in the form of music, literature and art. My heart broke. Hemingway would be furious to see what has happened to his paradise. It is lost.

But. We searched for relics of joy found in establishments offering morsels of Key Lime Pie, interspersed with roaming chickens and roosters who pretty-well own the place down there. We made friends in places like Dog Tired Art Gallery, Kermit’s Key Lime Pies, Hogfish Grill and a marina about 10 miles north of Key West where I lost Tony on our bike outing. Nice folks smiled and acknowledged my plight when I asked if they’d seen a guy on a bike just like mine. Probably not something they’re asked a lot, but in Key West there aren’t many surprises. Anything can and does seem to happen sooner or later.

Tony and I did find each other, back at the hotel. I never was concerned for my safety, even with the bums who had come to the Rock to give their existence over to booze and a sidewalk. They were harmless.

Blue Heaven was highly recommended to us as an eatery and their mile high Key Lime Pie. We hit it up for lunch, which was outdoors on a bricked patio, roosters and chickens roaming freely as we munched on fairly overpriced fare. The meringue overwhelmed the pie, which as a self-proclaimed meringue addict satisfied my cravings, for quite some time. But as a Key Lime Pie fanatic on a mission I had to admit it was a bit too much. The pie was under there somewhere.

The quest to find THE perfect pie continued. Old Town Bakery touts a ginger snap crust and Tony was beside himself to try it. Oddly enough, the ginger didn’t compliment the key lime and we remained steadfast in our two favorites so far. Onward northeast to the mid and upper keys again to Islamorada’s Green Turtle Inn. Now, I’ll say the macadamia coconut crust there is by far the best crust I’ve ever had. It was spectacular. But the filling was not as bold as the crust. It sported a beautiful raspberry compote garnish which was also a perfect addition to the original pie. But overall the meal we had there was the best in all of the Keys.

Ms. Macs Key Lime Pie in Key Largo was too sweet and not so flavorful. No big key lime taste. And The Fish House, while probably the best of the meringues, also suffered from a lack of key lime goodness in the center. But Key Largo is the closest of the Keys to the mainland and is also a great place to put down some roots if you’re in the area.

So if you’re feeling a bit full of the idea of pie by now, good. That’s the idea. Believe me, I don’t want to have any more pie for a while. But the winners by in far are Kermit’s for Cherie and the Key West Key Lime Pie Company for Tony. Our favorite one-off is Kermit’s Chocolate Dipped.

If you want to make the perfect Key Lime Pie, order the concentrated Key Lime juice from Kermit’s.

If you want to make the authentic, original Key Lime Pie recipe, it is NOT baked, and is topped with meringue. You can torch yours for the perfect and authentic taste.

If you want the modern-day, traditional Key Lime Pie, go for the graham cracker crust, slightly baked filling and a chilled pie topped with piped whipped cream.

But Cherie’s Key Lime Pie recipe will, from this day forward, incorporate the macadamia and coconut crust, triple concentrated key lime juice from Kermit’s, baked, topped with fresh whipped cream and drizzled with a raspberry reduction.

Thanks for coming along on our journey. Stay tuned for more.

Tony and Cherie – June 2017